This was intended to be a run down of the main players involved with the Custards but turned into a bit of a potted history of the band. It doesn't include everything because stuff like running for parliament is mentioned elsewhere, and probably isn't entirely factual anyway.


Paul ~ lead guitar

AKA The Corner

AKA Donkey

AKA Jelly Head

Paul pulled the band together in the late 1980's via an ad in Melody Maker for musicians influenced by The Pixies and the Wedding Present. Auditions took place in his mum's front room in Bromley, where the band continued to rehearse and record until she politely suggested they find somewhere else.

Pat ~ rhythm guitar

AKA Giblets McGee

AKA JP Bananas

Pat passed the audition despite Paul's suspicions about him knowing who the Pixies were. What Pat clearly lacked in technique he made up for by being able to construct songs out of the thrashy guitar mess the band specialised in.


Rob ~ bass

AKA Action Jackson

Rob had been in Paul's previous band and was keen to be in a more bass-dominated band, like New Model Army.

The trio went under the name of Bastard, a rather hastily chosen name forced upon them by a promoter wanting a name for a poster. The band did this one gig and realised now would be a good time to advertise for a permanent drummer and singer.



Larry ~ drums

Larry was a fireman and gliding enthusiast who had been playing in various local bands before he answered the band's cry for help.


Abbie ~ vocals

The band knew former teenage gymnast Abi was ideal as soon as they heard her sing. Her distinctive vocal style perfectly complemented the noise they were making. She quickly produced a set of her trademark scathing lyrics and The Custards were finally up and running.



Mr.Potter ~ Caretaker Manager

Gig Promoters in London were odd beasts at this time. Gigs at 'proper' venues were only available to bands with a manager - presumably because no manager would think of taking on a bunch of no-hopers operating out of a front room in Bromley.

The Custards were therefore forced to employ the shadowy Potter on a caretaker basis (in much the same way as the England team were doing with Ron Greenwood at the time).

No-one could say he wasn't successful though as he was able to set-up a string of gigs around London, as well as a brief but lucrative tour of Spain.

Using the money from the tour, the band recorded their first single, Tracy, for release on their own label. Or at least that was the plan - the recording didn't go well and before they could redo it Larry had a nasty accident with a gliding winch, forcing him to retire.

This was the end of an era during which the band had begun to make a name for themselves. Highlights were being interviewed by John Peel (Paul had once appeared in a Radio 1 calender with him - don't ask) and a link-up with Cud and Carter. They had also made Jon Fat Beast's Hype club in Kentish Town their home ground with several packed shows.



Paul ~ drums

AKA Aunty Flo

Flo was recruited via the trusty Melody Maker - the only drummer auditioned able to play three songs in a row without stopping for a cigarette. He slotted right in with his more rhythmic style of drumming improving the songs already written.



Ian ~ The Boss

At around this time the band also hooked up with music journalist Ian Watson and it was his management that enabled them to start getting support slots to bigger bands.

With interest in the band growing it was clear it was time to re-record Tracy. Unfortunately money was tight so they decided to stick with what they knew and did the recording back in the Front Room, with Chris Lord from Dalek Beach Party doing the engineering and mixing at the top of the stairs. Paul's mum went out for the day.

And this was probably the golden age of the Custards. Gigs became more frantic, with the growing Custard Crew always in attendance. Coming on to the Rhubarb and Custard theme, they then stormed through as many songs as they could before Flo collapsed.

At their peak, they decided to record a second single, The Lurve EP, which was funded via a dodgy loan only recently paid off. It was recoded in Croydon by Chris Moosehead Dieselburger and received a similar amount of airplay to the first.

Unfortunately, Abbie was finding the gigging more and more stressful and finally decided to quit after the second PMFRR Extravaganza.

This really marked the end of the Custards, and although they did play on for a while with a new singer, Grog (later of Flinch and Feline), they never recaptured their early form or fun, and in the end quietly dissolved.



Recent News


fake news

Following the passing of Flo in 2011, the four original Custards have occassionally been sighted at the odd London gig together. There were even worrying rumours of a weekend session at a rehearsal studio in Bath in early 2017, but this may have just been an instance of fake news.

In the meantime, the band has finally accepted that vinyl and cassettes are no longer the future and have grudgingly agreed to make their two singles available via online music providers, but on the condition that they're recorded from vinyl rather than the original tapes. Their record company accepts the potential number of downloads will no doubt reflect this decision.